Don't squeeze the Charmin!

2011-08-08T19:44:00.000-07:00

Have you ever learned something that caught you off guard? You know the kind of news that just stops you in your tracks and makes you take a step back and look at things from a distance? The kind that causes you to reevaluate what's important to you...that forces you to consider how fragile life is?

Last night, absolutely out of the blue, a classmate from elementary school, Jeff, came to mind. He was a boy in my class from private school, that I have not seen, heard from or of, since 3rd or 4th grade. I could not possibly imagine why his name popped into my head, but like anyone else might do, I looked him up on Facebook. Sure enough, there's his picture, the only member with his name, and there's no doubt it's him. It's just a big version of him. I start scrolling down his wall, reading posts, curious to see where he is and what he's up to - it's fun to see how people from our childhood turned out. It didn't take me long to realize that the posts from friends stating that they've been thinking about him, asking him to take care of the rain, telling him the sun was shining for him, and that they missed him carried sorrow. Just a short while down the page I found comments implying that Jeff was gone, that he had died.
I think it always hits us a little harder when someone our own age dies. My heart felt so heavy. I was curious to learn what happened to him. As I kept on through comments and posts and photos I discovered that Jeff had experienced some great things. He was studying Environmental Science in Syracuse. He had spent time in Japan and hiked mountains. He had trained and wore a black belt. He loved nature and had many friends. He was close with his parents - who loved him. Apparently they are keeping up his page as a means to allow friends to keep in touch and to keep his memory alive.
I searched the internet to see if I could find how he had passed away. I found only and obituary that stated he had died unexpectedly last June. Surely this student, friend, world traveler, this son had been in a tragic accident. Or maybe he had fallen suddenly ill, or had a condition that he didn't know about. He had experienced so many things in his 30 years that many of us will never have the opportunity to see.
I sent a message to another classmate from those years and she told me that she had gone with her parents, pastor, and our teacher to the funeral. She said he took his own life. Took his own life. My heart immediately broke for his family. He was studying, traveling, exploring God's world...why would he want to leave it? What must his parents have felt? I simply cannot imagine the pain.
So I sat there, wondering why God put him on my heart last night. He left this earth over a year ago. His family has been dealing with the hurt for as long. Why, on this day, was I looking him up?
Confused, I sat back and let my thoughts go. I began to consider the relationships in my own life. As a wife, a mother, a friend, am I the person I want to be? Do I nurture these relationships, encouraging the people that I love? As a Christian, do I extend the hand of God? Do others feel Him through me? Do I reflect His love, forgiveness, peace? Do my children know Christ through me? Would I know if there was something wrong in the heart of someone I love? Would I be the connection to God's heart they needed in a dark moment? What does it take to be happy? What can satisfy our hearts?
Relationships. With each other, with our families, friends, those we spend our days with. With God. Unless He lives in our hearts, we can never be truly satisfied with our lives. Only He can fill the void we feel when we hide it from the world. If hiking the tallest of mountains we are too short-sighted to realize the existence of an amazing Creator in all His splendor, may we be open to Him in our daily life.

He's Here!

2010-11-21T16:57:00.000-08:00

...and has been for almost 3 weeks...

Oliver Edward arrived November 2nd at 11:03pm weighing in at 6 pounds 9 ounces and 19 and a half inches long. He's beautiful and healthy and a sweet-tempered baby. I couldn't love him more!

Almost There!

2010-10-23T06:19:00.000-07:00

It's almost baby time :o)
Though my due date is still more than 5 weeks away, we know D Day is fast approaching. I have been on bedrest for the past 2+ weeks and am definitely restless, though of course I'm thrilled that Oliver is staying put. Our goal has been 36 weeks (which Seth didn't quite make it to), and that brings us to November 1st. That's a week from Monday. That's soon. I don't actually want him to come on November 1st. That's my mother-in-law's birthday. In fact, I don't want him to come any day during the first week of November. That would allow for the potential that his birthday could fall on Election Day through the years. Truth is, I think he's coming on October 30th. Puts a damper on my Halloween with the kids for this year, but it's just a hunch this momma has.
Anyhoo...I'm looking forward to settling into our new life as we know it!

Pumpkin Pancakes

2010-09-30T05:18:00.000-07:00

Who doesn't love fall? Raise your hand. Useless task, I know, since I can't see your hands and would rather believe that none of you would raise it anyway. Fall is the most amazing season of the year. I suppose it is one of the perks to living where I do...WNY is beautiful in the fall. It may be possible to have a different favorite season in other parts of the (deprived) world. Anyhow - I LOVE the fall. I love the crisp autumn air, the apples (we go pick our own), the fall-scented housewarmers, the pumpkin pie, sweatshirts and bonfires, there's more, hold on. Oh, the pumpkin pie (stay with me here), the pumpkin lattes, the pumpkin bread, the pumpkin donuts, the pumpkin carving, and yes, the pumpkin pancakes. I made some for dinner last night and they were good...with real maple syrup.

2010-08-24T05:56:00.000-07:00

Apparently the code for my former background went kaput. I've avoided posting anything because it was stupid-looking to say the least. I tried replacing it a few times with no luck so just stayed away. This morning I tried again and -VOILA - I have a new background. Perhaps a little premature, but anyone who knows me knows that I LOVE the fall and would quite possibly prefer it year round. Maybe I'd get tired of it after while...nah.

It's a...

2010-07-06T05:32:00.000-07:00

I had my 18 week sonogram one week ago today. As much as we tried to fanagle, Ron couldn't make it to the appointment with me. He really didn't want us to find out the baby's sex but I was determined to know. It is not in my nature to straight up go against his wishes but did I mention I was determined? I hate the thought of going through an entire pregnancy not knowing what the baby is! SO...I asked the sono tech to figure it out and put the answer in an envelope for me to take home. She agreed. It's amazing what the untrained eye can recognize when the switch is flipped to 4D, however. I thought maybe I could tell myself, in the quick pass she took past baby's "parts." Anyway, I came home with a sealed envelope that Ron refused to open. How rude...
It took until Friday - and he said it was only because I had an inkling - to open the envelope. Sydney was sitting in the room with us not knowing what we were even doing. Ron opened it and showed me. Then he gave the labeled picture to Sydney. A sweet pout quickly turned to all-out sobbing. "I don't want it to be a boy!" she cried. Heartbreaking, really.
So there ya have it...it's a BOY!
:o)

2010-06-24T06:12:00.000-07:00

Yesterday we went strawberry picking. Another momma and her 3 little boys went with us and we went for a playground picnic afterward. We had a beautiful day for it and the kids (all 7 of them) behaved really well. When we were first getting ready to head out into the field to pick, the kids had partnered themselves up in pairs - very cute. Sydney took Vincenzo (a 2 year old twin), Shane took Tuscan (the 4 year old big brother), Noah took Matteo (the other twin), and they decided that Seth could be with me and Shannon...

Though it was cute that they took it upon themselves to buddy up, it wasn't until I was uploading pictures late last night that I was struck.

I had brought my camera with intentions of snapping lots of gorgeous sunshiney strawberry pickin' pictures. It was enough work trying to pick berries while constantly scanning the field to be sure all kiddos were in sight. This photo - or portion of a photo - caught my eye. This was after we had gotten into the field and were starting to pick...the kids were just kind of going about their business, but Noah was still holding Matteo's hand.

When we think of the people we want leading us, we make lists of qualifications - must be smart, savvy, strong, experienced, educated...you know the list. Here, Matteo didn't know that Noah hasn't even been to preschool yet. He didn't care that he's barely 4 inches taller and not quite 2 years older. Nor did he realize that Noah has never picked strawberries before. But that didn't matter - Matteo had the faith of a child. God tells us to have faith like a child. These babes don't question our abilities. They trust that we will lead and care for them and keep them safe. Even a child barely older than themselves. How precious, too, that Noah took Matteo by the hand and led him. To where? Who knows what he had in mind - but he was willing, and Matteo trusted.

Shades on the Windows

2010-06-22T04:36:00.000-07:00

Ron leaves for work by 6:10 in the morning - six days a week. He gets ready to leave the house in a tiptoe, quietly shuffling from room to room being mindful not to wake anyone. He does this because he loves me and he knows I'd give anything to slep in a bit in the morning. Seth, however, couldn't care less how much sleep I think I need. By 6:20 most days he is standing on the side rail of my bed, leaning in real close, his face inches from mine, demanding, "Mommy, Momma! Ah eeyaw. Mommy ah eeyaw!" I know this doesn't sound so bad but you have to understand that when I say 'demanding' what I really mean is he yells and cries at me before I'm even conscious. And then yells more and louder if I'm not up and running to the kitchen in under 4 seconds. And God forbid my pregnant self should feel the urge to stop at the bathroom on the way.
What is it that makes this 2 year old bounce up just minutes after daddy leaves? I have tried pleading with Ron to try and be a little quieter, that he must be making too much noise. He has since convinced me that if I don't even hear him getting up in the same room, then why should Seth? And why would he not get up while Ron was still here?
Perhaps the fact that we have lived here for nearly six months and still haven't gotten any curtains/blinds/shades on his bedroom windows has something to do with it. Maybe that would also explain why he started out sleeping a bit latert and has gradually been getting up earlier. So yesterday I bought shades. The room darkening kind. And I am getting them up today. And tomorrow we are sleeping in until 8.

Lame-O

2010-06-19T19:50:00.000-07:00

I worked last night. And had stuff to do today. Stuff that required that I skip the sleeping portion of my day. Bummer. And it was hot. And humid. And I'm pregnant. And...just kidding - that's enough of that. My mother in law hosted a birthday party for Brandon at a bowling alley today and I had committed to bringing a couple food items. It turned out to be a good day, the kids had a blast (how pathetic that I forgot my camera and thus have no super-cute pics of Seth "wo-win"). By the time we were ready to head home, I was sleepy, nauseated, and crabby. Once we got home, I continued to feel the same and the kiddos were spreading thin. Some time in the sprinkler segued to bath and bed. Of course we came across an impromptu invite to the drive in...after the kids were sleeping. Sounded fun. And I bet it was for the kids whose parents are not so lame. Thankfully they don't know what they missed out on!
Instead, Ron and I took an exhilerating ride to the late-night post office while a sweet teen sat here and watched TV. My dear husband did, however, satisfy my craving for soup (did I mention it was hot today?) with a stop at Chili's on the way back home. And chips. With salsa. Yum.

Umm, hi...my name is Karen and I own this blog?

2010-06-18T06:35:00.000-07:00

So, I think I may have forgotten that I even have a blog...and only remembered it while I was reading the blog of another mom and saw my own on her bloglist (thank you Tracey!). While I wouldn't call it free time per se, I am working just part time right now - so will make time to keep my dear audience entertained. Ha. All 3 of you who have given up on me. Ha.
Apparently it has been a full year since I've been here. So, yeah, I passed my NYS RN board exam last July and have been a registered nurse since. I worked on a medical/surgical floor at a hospital for 8 months while Ron played "manny" at home. During that time, we lived through one son leaving for Marine bootcamp and another starting Kindergarten, found out we were expecting a baby, sold our house, lost our baby, spent 2 months living with my parents, and bought a new house. That brings us to January...then since February, Ron took a job as General Manager, I took a part time position on a Mother-Baby unit at a different hospital, we found out we have a new bean due in November and we are working on the house and yard like busy little bees.
Needless to say, the past year has tried us thoroughly but has built our faith and character tremendously. God is good. I'm sure many have followed us on Facebook, so realize that this is an extreme summary and does not share the slightest detail of what the year has held. Truth is, I can't just pick up and start writing without acknowledging that I missed a week (or 52). [insert wink here]

It's Over!

2009-05-19T06:43:00.000-07:00

So - yes, the semester dictated that I not have a whole lot of time for blogging...(sounds good, right? Score - a valid excuse!).

As it stands, I am officially finished with school, minus commencement which is a week from tomorrow. I am a GN (graduate nurse) until I pass my boards this summer. I am in the running for a job and am thrilled to be where I am right now! The reality has not set in yet that I am done with classes and clinicals...the last day was bittersweet, and it is difficult to comprehend that I very well may never step foot on that campus again.

So, anyway - Ron is down to this and next week then he is done at Citi. It's going to be a very different kind of summer for us! It is, in fact, quite possible that I could start orientation for a new job the Monday following Ron's last day at work! God is so good! Who else could orchestrate such perfect timing?

As intimidating as change can be, we are welcoming all the new things that are ahead for our family. I will work harder to keep up!

Home Stretch

2009-01-17T17:44:00.000-08:00

Tuesday marks the beginning of my last semester...I graduate in May. I'm scared and excited like crazy! Every once in awhile it hits me. I had a preliminary interview at Women & Children's Hospital in Buffalo on Monday. It went really well and I liked the nurse recruiter I talked with. Now I can only sit tight and hope for openings for me!

Diapers, In One Size

2009-01-09T20:15:00.000-08:00

So, I now only have to buy diapers in ONE size! Ahh, yes, only size 5s on my shopping list now...but not because I only have one in diapers - because Seth and Noah wear the SAME SIZE! I don't know which is more ridiculous: that Noah is still wearing diapers full-time or that Seth's dimply bottom is the same size as Noah's! Honest to goodness - that baby is my "fattest." Yes, people comment on how tiny he is for his age but relatives know he is a chunk by our standards - and he's short! His stubby little legs toddle around and Noah whippersnappers right by him with his own diapered bum exposed (any advice on keeping clothes on a three-year-old?). And don't even get me started on that stubborn little man! Noah will not give in to our appeals to go on the potty. We tell him, "You're a big boy, now you're three, big boys go on the potty." To which he returns, "I don't wanna be free, I wanna be two!" I know they say that they won't go to school in diapers - but I am convinced Noah will graduate from school in diapers.

Christmas is when?!?

2008-12-22T08:43:00.000-08:00

Can you believe Christmas is this week?? I may be more prepared than other years, but feel less ready than usual. I don't think that makes any sense...

I spent the weekend baking and our Christmas day meal is going to be super simple as in deli tray simple - no joke. I will not cook on Christmas anymore - too time consuming - I want to play with my kids. We are, however, having a traditional (well, sort of) dinner on Saturday with family. I was very organized about shopping and spending this year. I am very happy with how that went. We also made it through Seth's first and Noah's 3rd birthdays! I am woman - hear me roar!!!

I will take lots of pictures this week and post them soon as I can!

Merry Christmas!!

Halloween!

2008-11-03T19:24:00.001-08:00

Ok, so these kiddos had a blast! I took them to the mall on Thursday night for practice...they were really good. Friday night, can I just say, was the hardest I have laughed in a long time! Noah may be the funniest person on the face of this planet. Well ok, in our house. Anyway, I wasn't sure how well he'd keep up or how long he'd last. He was great! Lagging behind the rest of the kids by 20-30 feet, yelling "Come on, guys!," as if he was leading them. Running back the way he came from and turning in his tracks. My neighbor accused me of having a crack problem :o) He was just hilarious to watch! Sorry, I'm going to continue on about how flippin' entertaining he was. After taking 16 minutes to approach the door of a very well decorated house (maybe not that long) - we're talking animations, lights, and sounds - he was nervous, he walked away without looking back and said, "That house was stupid." What?? Our neighbor had taken to carrying him across the long gaps. When he put him down to catch up with the others, he comes running to me and cries out, "That guy won't hold me!" He literally had us in stitches all night long! Here are some shots of Peter Pan, Captain Hook, the sheepdog (and self-proclaimed Nana the nursery dog), and Tick Tock the Croc...

OK - so really - seriously...

2008-10-19T18:14:00.000-07:00

What I meant to share on Thursday:

There may be no way to make this a short story, but here goes...

LAST Thursday (as in week and a half ago), a friend (K) and I wanted to make an appointment to meet with an instructor (Ms. V) to review a test that we did not do well on. Ms. V happens to also be my 1st rotation clinical instructor (the one referenced previously that I really liked). Well, she said she'd be putting up a sign-up sheet for appointments later that day and that she would fill our names in for 11am on Tuesday. On Tuesday, we show up before a 10am class to see that she gave that appointment to someone else and put us in at 3pm. Hmm. I decide to keep it but K works at 3 so she can't stay. She signs up for Thursday at 9:30 instead. Still following? At some point that day, K decides she can go into work an hour late, so we go together to the 3pm. While with Ms.V, I asked if I could then take the Thursday @ 9:30 appointment for my CPE (this is the evaluation & grade from clinical - that I want to know so badly!). She said it was ok so I crossed off K's name and put down my own. Now, I have to make additional babysitting arrangements to cover because I don't have class until noon on Thursdays ($). SO, Thursday morning, I show up in the office to find K (she had met with a different teacher) and another classmate, C. They tell me that Ms. V was not aware of the switch and that she said, "You can't just do that." WTH? So I go in to her office as if unaware of this. She proceeds to insist she knew nothing of the switch and that she was not prepared for me, she didn't have my stuff. Grrr. And that's putting it mildly.

Big deal, right? Wrong. I have been having an extremely trying semester. I had a bad week for grades - on our last test (the one we had asked to review), a micro test I did less than well on, and a micro lab practical that I didn't feel too good about. Add this to an upcoming test on my mind. All I wanted was some good news. I really feel like I did really well in clinical with Ms. V. I was so looking forward to finding out I did great to ease some of the tension, er, depression I was feeling.

Alas I wait...
Grrr.

Seriously

2008-10-16T06:54:00.001-07:00

How do ya like them apples?

2008-10-12T19:58:00.000-07:00

We made our annual excursion to Murphy Orchards (in Burt, NY - a shameless plug) yesterday. I finally talked Ron into taking me apple-pickin' a couple of years ago and now it is a yearly family tradition. We had an absolutely gorgeous day for it - the sun was warm, the ground was dry, and the trees were - bare? Yeah, so we got out a little late this year and there were slim pickins. No worries, though, we got plenty to enjoy. Not to mention all of the fun pictures this momma got to take! The kids were great and we made a family day of it. We even went for dinner at Daddy's favorite Bills game eatery! Here are some pics I got, and the link to the album...

off and running...

"I can reach"

"Wait for me!"

Momma's sweet Sunshine

Couldn't you just eat him up?

http://s6.photobucket.com/albums/y230/charmin24/Apple%20Picking/

A Day Off?

2008-10-10T04:51:00.000-07:00

Did you ever get a "day off" only to find that it would be busier than a day on? With my change in clinical rotation, I am left with Fridays off, today being the first one. Of course, for a mom, there really is no such thing as a day off, right? Anyway, so far this morning I have vacuumed twice. It's 8am. I have a friend coming over to work on school stuff. I have 4 of my kids home today - I'm hoping that the 15 year old will be helpful and not a nuisance. Noah (he's 2) is in rare form this morning - he's shooting for an early nap. Oh - and tomorrow we are going apple-pickin and picture-takin and I'm trying to stay ahead of the boo-boo nose Seth is getting. He's been a bit runny and his nose is getting irritated - so not cute for pictures! I have my work cut out for me today!

Ugh

2008-10-05T17:05:00.000-07:00

I actually look forward to Sunday nights (not because the weekend is over, but because football day is over). We watch one show on Sunday nights - Cold Case. Back to my point - Sundays are a stressful waste of my energy most of the time. I hate that feeling. Our family goes to church and I really try to promote peace in our home, especially on Sunday. And all my efforts are in vain. My husband is a die-hard fan. He holds more passion in his being for his sports teams than for anything else in this world. Good or bad, he is an emotional roller coaster on game day. Most times I can't decide whether to cry, walk out, yell, or laugh. I hate hating Sundays. Anybody want to adopt a Bills fan?

My first "photo shoot"

2008-10-04T10:06:00.000-07:00

We did a quick shoot in our back yard. It was nap time, so less successful than I had hoped for and we cut it short. I still like what I got, though!

Whew!

2008-10-03T17:19:00.000-07:00

Today was the last day of my 1st clinical rotation and "CPE" day. Clinical Performance Evaluation is always intimidating, but of course I had to get a difficult patient! I got through it, and it turned out to be a great day - I LOVE learning new things! I start Monday at our childrens' hospital - should be fun :o)

Oh, I got a new camera - I'm hoping to get the kids together over the weekend and start shooting pictures. I really want to take advantage of the beautiful fall sun... I'll post some as soon as I can!

I LOVE THE FALL!

2008-09-29T06:46:00.001-07:00

So we spent yesterday savoring the wonderful aroma of homemade applesauce on the stove. We go to a local orchard to pick apples and pumpkins every year. We haven't gone yet. I had one of those paper tote bags of apples you buy at the grocery store. And yesterday seemed like a perfectly good day to smell them simmering with cinnamon and caramel. Yes, it was the perfect fragrance to walk into - the whole house smelled wonderful! Sadly, it made a meager batch of sauce to serve to such a family as ours as even Ron had some. It was a nice teaser, though. I think we'll be going for our apples this weekend and we always end up with more than we could ever use ourselves. The folks at the orchard we go to are so friendly and fun! They charge for u-pick apples by the pound. You pick what you want then haul 'em in and load 'em up on the great big scale. While you're figuring the math to guesstimate how much your 64 pounds of apples at $.49/pound, the awesome Jamaican man is eyeballing them and you and your brood and charges you $8.00. They probably see more go to rot than they care to, so they never charge what they advertise. You leave there feeling like you robbed the apple bank - it's funny! So I start googling any recipe that calls for apples and get to it...

No, we aren't crazy...

2008-09-28T17:52:00.000-07:00

I have to be careful how much I say and who I let read my blog...if I'm going to share my deepest secretest secrets :o) No, really, I need to have these "conversations" with someone, right? Here goes...

Ron and I are planning on another baby. Yes, folks, that's right. We are acknowledging the fact that we intend to have another baby - on purpose. We agree that we want me done with school before number next would arrive but that could mean getting pregnant any time now. I'm thinking I'd rather not be pregnant during school again (isn't 1 pregnancy per degree sufficient?). I would love a late summer/fall baby. Maybe I'll do the math...

SHHH! Don't tell our parents - tee hee!

made it through another week...

2008-09-27T16:03:00.001-07:00

It sure has been trying getting used to this pace again. After working 3-11s during the summer I became accustomed to staying up late. Well, clinicals start at 7am. Not to mention the lady I'm carpooling with wants to be at my house at 6 in order to allow for traffic, etc. Needless to say I am genuinely exhausted most of the time. But, I am absolutely *loving* this clinical rotation. We have been at Millard Fillmore Gates and have been able to see, learn, and do so much. I'm really starting to feel like a nurse - very cool. As it stands, I "failed" my first exam of the semester (keep in mind that to fail is to score less than 75% of the possible points) by 1 measley point. I keep my chin up, think positive, and blog instead of study. Is it May yet?

Here we go again!

2008-09-23T18:21:00.000-07:00

Thanks to Tracey, I finally get to have a pretty blog! I couldn't find the one I started before, so I'll give it another go...

So, school is in full swing...I think I'm settling in again. I am absolutely LOVING my clinicals right now so that's a good thing. I was worried I was crazy and I'd have to quit school and become a cafeteria monitor instead! (no offense to our beloved lunch ladies - God bless you for doing what you do!)

Anyway, I can't believe fall is here already - though I am thrilled - fall is my favorite season...